Blog Tour: Because of Kian by Sibylla Matilde

***** Mature Content, Abuse, Sexual Situations, Adult Situations, Strong Language *****

I know I’m twisted. Growing up in a perfectly well-adjusted home, I don’t really have an excuse. But no matter… I realize how messed up I am. And therapy can only do so much.

I pushed my boyfriend to violence, a violence he couldn't control. Sickly, I almost liked it. So I pushed him more. Before long, the pain outweighed the pleasure and the loss I sustained shattered me. So I ran. I’m now a bit shell-shocked harboring a lot of guilt. My boyfriend is now my ex and wants revenge. He wants me to pay for turning him into the monster he’s become. And I still have a deviant yearning that I don’t understand. My own monster inside… my own demon to battle.

I can’t get close to anyone. I can’t give in and scratch that itch. I can’t wreck someone else.

And now there is Kian… my rescuer on a dark, painful night. He sees through my pretense. He tries to pull me from my frightened isolation, to keep me from becoming a victim. He forces me to face my warped desires and shows me that pain doesn’t really have to truly hurt.

He wants to show me a way to serenity. But I am afraid… Will I ruin a good man?

Holy fuck. She was perfect.

Every time I saw her – feeling the beat at Hyper, rocking

 above me that day in the gym, in the soft light of her little 

bedroom lamp, laughing when she played with Sage’s kid – 
I thought she was even more gorgeous than before. Every 


time she made my fingertips ache to touch her.

She made my heart ache to love her.

 

Being a fan of this author I was excited to read all about Kian. From the blurb alone I was hooked..The book starts with a blood infused bang, knowing that the lead female is coming out of a violent past you can’t help but dive in and hope for the best.

The relationship starts out from afar..he notices her..he protects her..and she has no idea.  Until the night that his inkling becomes reality and their lives are forever connected.  A need to not only protect her but help her be stronger and not feel victimized sets the stage for rolling around on the floor together…yeah baby!

Violence is a thin line in this story..a need to feel..a push too strong..a feeling of guilt, of being the catalyst that created the monster before her..not being able to distinguish what she desires and what has become of her life.  The soft touch of a kind man, being “tarnished” not feeling “good enough” are the thoughts of a broken woman.  Can she be put back together? Can a good man feed her need?

Because of Kian..the answer is YES

I enjoyed this story so much..the connection..the hot sex..the description of Kian and his girth..they all worked for me.  The first person point of view is my personal favorite and keeps me more invested in the characters so thanks Sib!! Loved it and recommend it to readers that enjoy watching broken people find their way through each other..

Sibylla, has sucked me in with this book. I loved Kian—his fight, his loyalty and his stalker abilities. The story told is real life. Sometimes brutal and unfair, you learn to cope—to teeter on the edge, but never quite fall. This story is not roses and candy. It's a story about being broken by a person who was supposed to love you. It's pushing the boundaries for an adrenaline rush gone horribly wrong. It's about fighting to be sane, and trusting that there are still good people in the world. 

Kian. Kian. Kian. He seemed like such a straight-laced guy, but holy hell does he have a naughty side. When his stalker-ish ways pay off by saving Brynn, the two have an instant connection. Although Brynn pushes even Saint Kian to his limits, he holds strong. Feeling the need to redeem himself for his past failures, he sets out to heal Brynn.

I don't know how many times the emotions that were in the book and felt by Brynn had me nodding my head in agreement. Did I agree with everything she chose to do—No. We have all wanted to push the envelope of pleasure and pain to learn where the line should be drawn. Kian just shows you that the choices you make are derived from the true love you feel for that person who unwillingly puts all their trust in you

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Sibylla Matilde grew up in the mountain valleys of Southwest Montana exploring the dusty Old West gold country on the back of a horse. She attended a two-room schoolhouse beginning in 1st grade & had the same teacher until she changed schools after 7th. Beginning at about age 12, Sibylla discovered historical romance, feeding off of work of Jude Deveraux & Lisa Kleypas. She loves a book that can make the reader run the gamut of emotions, from the sweet glow of new love to gut-wrenching heartache. She is a true romantic & always has stories floating around in her head, living in a fantasyland until she writes them down to free them.

Music is her emotional trigger. Growing up with a Wagnarian-loving mother, Sibylla was raised to treasure music that digs deep into the psyche, drawing out elation, sorrow, grief, desire. The soundtrack to her life includes many genres spanning centuries. She looooooooves Thirty Seconds to Mars (rather obsessively, actually... but, really, how can you NOT be crazy about this guy!? Jared Leto. Shhh. ) & pimps them out to all her friends through Spotify. She also delights in Met Opera HD broadcasts at her local movie theater & hopes (listening Met?) to someday see Diana Damrau reprise her role as Mozart’s Queen of the Night in Die Zauberflöte.

Sibylla lives with her husband and hero who saved her from her own calamitous, young-adult self. He makes her laugh daily, even when things are tough. He's proved to her that love really can heal a shattered soul. In 18 years, they have never had a fight, although argue regularly with their two teenage kids who have, unfortunately, inherited their father’s quick wit (unfortunate as it is a quick wit that Sibylla, herself, definitely does not possess – there is a reason she is a writer & not a stand-up comedian). They live a quiet life with their two weird little rescued Chiweenies. Wait… teenagers & little yap-dogs? OK, maybe not so quiet.

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