I have been staring at her for three months.
Watching her. Memorizing her.
For ninety-two days,
I've looked into those lifeless green eyes.
And for ninety-two days she has inspired me in ways I never knew possible. A muse, unbeknownst to her. Motivating me.
Encouraging my darkest desires.
I’m a man who knows what he wants.
And what I want is the beautiful and
broken Holland Howard.
My name is Jensen Payne—photographer, autocrat, lecher, Scopophiliac.
I am who I am
and I will not, cannot change.
*This is an Erotic Romance. Recommended for readers 18+ ONLY.
WARNING: This book contains possible emotional triggers.
Cheryl McIntyre is the author of the bestselling Sometimes Never series, as well as the Dirty series, Infinitely, and Dark Calling.
She calls Ohio home, though she secretly dreams of living somewhere much warmer--preferably near a beach. She is a mother, author, and insomniac, as well as a reader, self-proclaimed movie critic,
and incredibly bad singer. Her life revolves around four things: family, music, books, and really bad scary movies.
Stay up to date on all of Cheryl's new releases
by joining her newsletter here
By
“Nobody can take your misery way,
that’s yours to keep all your own.
Find the person who can make you
forget you were miserable in the first place.”
that’s yours to keep all your own.
Find the person who can make you
forget you were miserable in the first place.”
~~ POSSIBLE SPOILERS BELOW ~~
'Hard' to know where to start with this one!
This seems like a good place though!
The story touched me deeply throughout.
First the prologue blew me away - it was as if we
needed to experience Holland's complete abject
tragedy and everything else that got the ball rolling,
in order to appreciate how she got to the point
of literally driving away from her life.
First the prologue blew me away - it was as if we
needed to experience Holland's complete abject
tragedy and everything else that got the ball rolling,
in order to appreciate how she got to the point
of literally driving away from her life.
Some would have had a breakdown and some would
have committed suicide - Holland chose to simply drive away. No arguments, no debates, not waiting for apologies or reasons from her husband
or her best friend, she just went.
have committed suicide - Holland chose to simply drive away. No arguments, no debates, not waiting for apologies or reasons from her husband
or her best friend, she just went.
Let's face it, in a fight or flight (non-violent) situation at home most of us would break down and cry,
or stand there and want to kill their best friend
and husband for what they'd done
(especially following everything else that had
already happened) and most of us wouldn't
have the strength to leave with nothing but the clothes on our backs, but Holland had nothing left to give, nothing left to say and nothing left to live for -
so why not?
It really was a stunning prologue -
At this point I'm thinking it'll calm down now - surely?!!
But no, Cheryl McIntyre took me on one hell of a journey back to happiness - OMG I knew from her brilliant Dirty series that she was an amazing writer and storyteller but this was completely unexpected. Holland doesn't just meet a good man and it's all over or a 'normal' man and they settle down...
or even a rich 'sweep me off my feet' kind of a man.
or even a rich 'sweep me off my feet' kind of a man.
NO, Holland meets Jensen...
And he's a whole other ball game!
I'd never heard of Scopophilia,
let me tell you, it makes for
VERY interesting erotica!! LOL
Jensen and Holland embark on a no holds barred relationship based on his obsession with her
and her needing to feel... something, anything
and ultimately everything. It was just beautiful.
let me tell you, it makes for
VERY interesting erotica!! LOL
Jensen and Holland embark on a no holds barred relationship based on his obsession with her
and her needing to feel... something, anything
and ultimately everything. It was just beautiful.
I mean, one wouldn't (on an every day basis) set
ourselves up for danger, but Holland isn't like the rest of us, she truly doesn't care if she lives or dies so nothing she does with Jensen at this point could hurt her more than she's already hurting - so why not throw herself head first into it...
ourselves up for danger, but Holland isn't like the rest of us, she truly doesn't care if she lives or dies so nothing she does with Jensen at this point could hurt her more than she's already hurting - so why not throw herself head first into it...
Jesus, it was explosive. It was like she was being followed, fantasied over and fucked by a man that
could have been a serial killer!
But as she didn't care if she lived or died,
then what difference did it make?
She thought that it was just one night to forget the numbness she felt. Holland doesn't expect to find
a passionatebeautiful
And this is where dual POV's work REALLY well.
I absolutely loved the moment by moment flow of them. Moving between his and her thoughts with just a breath between them
- it created so much passion and excitement.
God, I held my breath each time the POV changed craving and then devouring each of their thoughts.
I loved both pov's equally, they were
fascinating and beautiful.
fascinating and beautiful.
This entire book is delicate, intricate, scary, profound and yet real. Its sensuality and eroticism is so 'grown up' in its approach. It really has blown me away.
I also love how well it's written.
It's intense and beautiful... pure eroticism.
And there's a whole other side to it when Jensen's issue comes to light that left me from 89% to the
end in tears... not going to give it away,
but this gif will give you a hint!
I also love how well it's written.
It's intense and beautiful... pure eroticism.
And there's a whole other side to it when Jensen's issue comes to light that left me from 89% to the
end in tears... not going to give it away,
but this gif will give you a hint!
All in all, a brilliant read - I loved it hard.
Can't wait for more from this amazing author.
Her soft beauty and innocent naivety keeps me coming back. Over and over, since the day she first served me. My cock grows hard beneath the shelter of the table as she strides toward me, her breasts bouncing lightly with each step. My arousal has nothing to do with sexual gratification. Though she has a beautiful body, curvy in all the places a man’s hands like to grip, and hold, and conquer, I’m turned on by the way she makes me feel inside. By the strength
and craving and ambition she has unknowingly restored in me.
A man’s wet fantasy. A woman’s aspiration. My divine intervention.
“Take off your clothes.” My voice is gravelly and I hardly recognize it. I’ve imagined how she looks naked a million different times. Dreamt of this moment more than I can count. My hands circle around the device clutched in my grip, squeezing firmly.
One auburn brow arches as if in challenge, a silent remark to my lack of polite request.
I mimic her, cocking my own brow,
but give her nothing else.
Manners don’t belong in the bedroom.
I mimic her, cocking my own brow,
but give her nothing else.
Manners don’t belong in the bedroom.
This is who I am and I do not apologize for it.
I ask once—and only once. I offer a choice and they make their decision. After that, it’s my way. Anybody who doesn’t agree
is free to leave. I don’t want her to go—I've waited far too long for this—but I am who I am and I will not—cannot—change.
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